


Breaking The Silence

by LoveNe



Series: Son of a Preacher Man [10]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Atheist Character, Best Friends, Boyfriends, Breaking Benjamin references, Christian Character, First Love, Friendship/Love, Hayner/Roxas - Freeform, Let kids be gay and happy, M/M, Religious Conflict, Roxas and Hayner are in love PERIOD, Short & Sweet, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-19 04:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19967950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveNe/pseuds/LoveNe
Summary: After his talk with Demyx at the picnic, Roxas knows he needs to face his best friend.





	Breaking The Silence

**Author's Note:**

> I know all of the parts before this had Nirvana songs as titles BUT! I can’t help but to associate Breaking Benjamin songs with Roxas. Any future Roxas-centric parts of this series will be the same way. Enjoy!

The blond’s heart is practically beating out of his chest. He hates that he’s nervous about simply standing on their doorstep. This isn’t the first time he’s been here, and if everything goes his way, it won’t be the last. He just needs to calm his nerves.

Sucking in a deep breath, he quickly pushes the little silver button beside the front door. He can hear the short chime from inside. After a few moments, he starts to panic. What if they aren’t home? What if they  _ are  _ home and just aren’t answering the door because they know it’s him? What if they  _ know— _

The door opens. His plastic smile returns to his face as he looks up at the tall brunette. Her eyes light up as she instantly opens her arms for him. “Hi, sweetie!”

He welcomes the hug she gives him. God, this woman makes him feel like he’s actually appreciated for something other than his work in the church. She genuinely loves him, and loves having him around. “Good afternoon,” he says as he pulls away. He notices her pretty blue dress and says, “You look lovely. Going somewhere?”

The woman grins. “I have another lunch date. I’m actually running a little late so could you  _ please _ remind Hayner to do his laundry?”

Roxas laughs. “I’ll tell him. Enjoy your date.”

The woman gives him a quick kiss on the forehead before inviting him inside. “Thanks, hon. There’s some leftover lasagna in the fridge and some snacks in the cupboards. We also have pizza rolls but the little bag is for Hayner’s father. Have fun!”

“Thank you!” he calls as she rushes out the front door. As soon as it shuts, the smile falls from his face. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary there, thank God, but there’s still one more obstacle to face.

Roxas leaves his shoes by the front door and quietly ascended the stairs. When he reaches the top, he hears the sound of muffled talking coming from the first door on the left. It’s the TV—he’s probably watching a movie. He inhales deeply, approaches the door, and knocks twice. The talking stops, and he hears a bit of shuffling.

And after two weeks of avoiding him, Roxas is now standing face to face with his best friend. Rather, they  _ were  _ best friends before that night. He has no idea what’s going on between them now.

Hayner blinks slowly. He’s never looked this tired before. “You’re back.”

“I’m back…” he says cautiously. “And I’m ready to talk.”

The taller blond frowns. “And what if  _ I’m  _ not ready to talk? What if I want to ignore all your calls and make  _ you  _ wait two weeks for some sort of explanation?”

“I’m sorry. I really, really am. You don’t have to forgive me or talk to me ever again. Just please let me explain.”

Hayner looks him up and down with a little sneer. He never did care for Roxas’ church attire. He said it made him look stuck up. “I’m not gonna stop talking to you, Rox. But you better have a good reason for ghosting me or I swear to God.”

Roxas cringes. Hayner is allowed to express himself in whatever way he wants, but there’s always a bit of lingering fear whenever he uses those kinds of phrases. Both of their parents would chew them out for hours if they heard Hayner “using the Lord’s name in vain” and saw that Roxas, a respected member of the youth group, did nothing to stop it.

“I do,” Roxas mutters.

Hayner opens his room door wider and walks over to his bed, throwing the remote in his hand on his dresser. Roxas gently closes the door beside him and takes a seat on his friend’s bed. Not too close, but not too far. He brushes the imaginary dirt off of his slacks and swallows hard.

This shouldn’t be that hard to talk about. He and Hayner grew up together. They knew practically everything about each other and went through  _ everything  _ together. This is no different.

“I panicked,” Roxas admits. “I know I said it was okay, and it  _ was _ at the time, but I started to feel really guilty about it afterwards. I got paranoid because it seemed like right after that happened, everyone started talking about gay people and how they’re wrong and stuff. The  _ second _ I went back home my parents were complaining about “the gays” and I had a breakdown that night. I decided to talk to Pastor Wise about it because I really needed the advice, but I chickened out and talked to his son instead.”

Hayner squints. “The guy with the hair?”

“Yes, him,” Roxas laughs. The pastor’s son does have pretty wild hair.

“Gross. I don’t know why you would want to talk to any of the Wises. He’s probably as looney as his old man.”

Roxas rolls his eyes. “You just don’t like anyone involved with the church.”

“You’re right—because they’re all hypocrites who expect a mythical sky man to fix all their problems instead of doing it themselves.”

The shorter blond glares. “I still believe in God, Hayner.”

He grimaces. “That’s...I’m...I can make that sound better, I swear.”

“Stop. I know you don’t believe it, and that’s okay. Just try not to judge them all based on Pastor Wise. Some of them are different.”

Hayner nods. “I got it. I’m sorry.”

Roxas smiles. “Can I finish explaining, now?”

“The floor is yours.”

He quickly runs through everything he had already told him and picks up where he left off. “So, Pastor Wise’s son: Demyx. I talked to him during the picnic and almost had  _ another  _ breakdown. I fully expected him to throw some bible verses at me to calm me down, but he didn’t do that. He was incredibly understanding and encouraging...he was on an entirely different page than his dad. I don’t actually think they get along well.”

This seemed to pique Hayner’s interest. “Did he tell you that?”

“Not outright, but he did heavily imply that he  _ himself  _ was gay.”

Hayner’s eyes widen to the size of plates. “ _ Pastor Wise is gay?! _ ”

“No! No, no, no,  _ Demyx  _ is gay. Maybe.”

The boy lets out a heavy sigh. “Christ on a bagel, I was about to lose my shit.”

Roxas actually laughs this time. Only Hayner would say something as stupid as  _ Christ on a bagel  _ unironically _.  _ “Not even kidding, I’d lose it too. I’d honestly leave the youth group because I wouldn’t be able to take him seriously after that. Don’t use my religion to be a hypocrite and spread hate. That’s messed up.”

“It is. But...hasn’t Demyx done the same thing?”

“No. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever heard him speak against gay people. Or... _ any  _ people. Demyx has only ever been sweet and encouraging to everyone in the church.”

Hanyer hums, but stays silent. Roxas takes this as his cue to continue.

“ _ Anyway _ , I talked to Demyx and he told me that I could come to him any time to talk about anything and he’d be there. He gave me some amazing advice and it made me feel better.”

“And...that’s it?”

“Yes. That’s it.”

“So why did it take you two whole weeks to talk to me if Demyx gave you such good advice?”

Roxas wets his lips as he takes another deep breath. This feels like the hardest part. “I was trying to make sure that what I felt was real and not just something that would go away in a few days. When it didn’t, I wanted to wait until I wasn’t so messed up to tell you that I love you.”

Hayner’s face softens. “You  _ what? _ ”

For the past two weeks, Roxas has felt nothing but sadness, fear, anger, and paranoia. He hasn’t slept well. He’s prayed until he physically couldn’t and cried himself to sleep. But right now, as he stares into the eyes that have always been looking out for his safety and well being, he feels calm.

He grins. “You shouldn’t play your TV so loud, Hay. You’re losing your heari—”

“I love you. T-Too, I love you too.”

Out of all the things Hayner could have said, Roxas wasn’t expecting that. Of course he wanted him to return his feelings, but a big part of him expected to be rejected.

Maybe he does deserve to be happy.

Maybe God doesn’t hate him.

Maybe he can love Hayner  _ and _ God without having to feel guilty about either of them.

He takes a chance and presses his lips to Hayner’s. He doesn’t pull away in shock or disgust; he allows it to happen. This time, it truly is okay. Roxas isn’t afraid anymore. He loves someone. And they love him back. The rest doesn’t matter.


End file.
